Laying in his arms, here in my bed, has brought me more
peace than I ever thought would come into my life while here in the Delta Quadrant.
I won't deny that I still have reservations about us being together with regards to this crew and Voyager, I most likely always will. But I would never go back to the ways things were, not now.
I hear him stir and feel his arms move around my shoulders and waist a little tighter. My head is lying on his chest and I can hear his heart beat. It seems to me that our hearts are beating in unison.
The sheets are wrapped around our bodies and our individual scents and the one we created while we made love, have combined into an intoxicating perfume. One I hope to wear for the rest of my life.
If you ever found out that I had planned this down to the last detail over the last week . I wonder how you would actually feel. Most likely you'd laugh and say, "That is so typical of you Kathryn Janeway. Planning everything after a complete and through investigation." It would then be followed up with, "If you had just gone with your feelings then we could have been like this earlier." But I know there would never be an "I told you so!"
About a month ago, I was reading an old journal, which
belonged to an ancestor of mine, back in the 20th Century. The Janeway family have always
kept a journal in some form or another.
The entry that I was reading by this ancestor, Emma Janeway, was about how she finally 'caught', as she put it, her husband Phillip Janeway.
Emma had pretty much tried everything, till one day she thought she would try coffee body paint. It appears that the love of coffee is something that is in the genes of the Janeways! Well it worked and she said that they have never looked back. I must admit, I found this very amusing entry to be put into someone's journal.
Anyway I pretty much had forgotten about it till about one week ago. After a lot of soul searching and looking at my current situation, I decided that I was being an idiot to let the 'Captain' take over 'Kathryn'. It seemed that most of the crew had paired off and the discipline of the crew hasn't decreased. In some ways it has improved.
Realizing this, I started to think that all the reasons I've been keeping Chakotay at a distant really didn't apply in this situation. I still feel uneasy about the 'What ifs' but I decided it was time to make some changes. The next question was how!
That night, as I was preparing to go to bed, I came
across the PADD that contained the journal of Emma Janeway. That's when I remember the
entry about the coffee body paint and the effects that it had. I also remembered that she
included the recipe for it in her journal. I found the recipe and programmed it into the
I remember thinking to myself, 'Okay, now what? Tom!'
I know that if anybody finds out that I had confided in Tom my plan to seduce my first officer, they would think that I was crazy or something. But I had learned long ago, that if I asked Tom to do something for me and keep it a secret he would. Remembering the time when I asked him to go undercover to discover the traitor, Michael Jonas. It was so hard on him because both crews were finally accepting him and he knew once he started that this would all change. Yet he went ahead and did it. I will always be grateful to him for that. As I will always be grateful to him for helping with this.
The next day I called Tom into the ready room and
basically laid it on the line as to what I would like to do and how I would like him to
help me. The grin on his face was priceless. I discussed how I wanted him to bring up in
general conversation the information about the use of body paint and just lead it on from
there. Tom loved the idea and promise that he would do
whatever needs to be done.
"When would you like me to do this Captain?" asked Tom
"mmmm tonight at Sandrine's, I think that would as good a place as any."
"Okay, consider it done ..By the way, best of luck with the big guy." Again the grin on his face was priceless.
Letting out a small laugh, "Thanks Tom, for everything."
That night we were at Sandarine's, Tom, B'Elanna, Harry,
Seven, Neelix the doctor, Tuvok, Chakotay and myself.
Tom must have done some research into the benefits of body paint and the flavors because the conversation was very informative. I could see that Chakotay was finding what Tom was saying a "little far fetch'. This was the reaction that I was wanting.
B'Elanna's comments about the need to investigate what Tom was talking about and the tones were almost too much for me. I realize that tonight I wasn't going to be the only one to verified what my ancestor wrote in her journal.
Chakotay made his apologies and moved to leave, saying that he had some reports that needed to be done before tomorrow. Thinking to myself, 'Well Kathryn, it now or never.'
"Commander, mind if I join you?"
"No Captain, of course not."
I made my apologies and left with Chakotay. I took a quick look over my shoulder at Tom and I saw him give me a quick thumbs up.
When we arrived at the door to my quarters I invited you
in with some excuse that there were a few things that we needed to discussed, inferring
that it was about ship's business and not what I really wanted to discuss.
We talked about a few things that I have to admit now I can't remember. After a while I decided to lead the conversation back to the one that we had at Sandrine's.
I do remember clearly you saying, "I'm sorry Kathryn, I just can't see the advantages of body paint."
"Well I would have to agree with you with regards to Chocolate body paint, but maybe if it was Coffee Body paint!"
To which you replied, "Kathryn the only reason you would enjoy the body paint is for no other reason except that its coffee!" You had the biggest grin on your face as you said that.
With the best indigent look that I could do without breaking and telling you my plan, I said, "Chakotay I'm shock that you could say such a thing."
I smiled and went to the replicator, "Computer 100grams of coffee body paint." I remember then that I would need to get into the file and change the name of the person who programmed the recipe, so that you don't realize it was me. Well at least not straight away.
I walked back to the couch with the body paint and stood in front of you. "So Chakotay, do you feel like investigating why people in the 20th Century used it?" I hoped that you would take me up on the challenge.
Thankfully you did take me up on the challenge.
Now I'm lying here in your arms, thinking that an
encrypted file in my personal logs would be the best place to record last nights events.
I start drawing circles on your chest. You look down into my eyes and I see love but I also see fear in them. I look back at you, letting you see the love I have for you. I hear a sigh and see the fear in your eyes gone and replaced by hope.
"Do you remember how we got here?"
"No. But I like having you here in my bed, waking up in your arms. It's definitely something that will continue."
"Hmmmmmmm .yes really"
"I don't I have a say in this?"
"Well then what can I say but .Yes Ma'am"
Just before we left for the bridge, I sent a message to Tom, again saying thank you and added a week's worth of replicator rations.
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